“The Bible says everything you need to know about finances. And you never need to worry about your finances, because the Bible says God gives us everything we need.”
One of my pastors said this during the announcements (which I call “the ads”) for a class on “biblical finances.” I found the statement amusing.
The Bible doesn’t even tell me how to do a simple budget much less how to balance my checkbook, pick good stocks, or choose the best retirement vehicles. It never mentions life, disability, or homeowners insurance. Jesus does tell us we should pay taxes (Matt. 22:21), but doesn’t seem to anticipate tax deductions and gives no instructions.
(I’ve always found it funny that when Jesus was accused of not paying taxes (Matt. 17:24-27), he tells Simon to go out and catch a fish, and pay for their taxes with the money he will find in its mouth. I wish he would have done that for me when I was a follower! But I guess if Jesus did that for all his followers there would be rampant inflation.)
What the Bible says about money is a cherrypickers paradise. Churches eagerly insist people should give at least 10% of their money to them (called tithing), but they don’t insist people sin unless they never earn interest on their money (Ps. 15:5), which rules out all savings accounts, money-market accounts, retirement accounts, stocks, etc.
Pastors also don’t like repeating Jesus’ teaching that it is harder for rich people to get into heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle (Matt. 10). Those are pretty low odds.
I’m sure the Bible (especially Proverbs) has good things to say about money. But to say or think the Bible says everything we need to know about finances is just fundamentalist nonsense.
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The ad might mean something different than what it appears to mean at first glance: it might be suggesting that the only thing that “you” need to know is to give “us” (i.e. the church) all “your” money.
Basically, God is giving “us” everything “we” need by having “you” give “us” all “your” money. And “you” don’t need to worry about “your” finances, since “you” won’t have any ..
Don’t forget prosperity theology: “God wants you to become wealthy.”
Luckily, the Bible does go into detail about how to sell one’s daughter into slavery.
Unfortunately it does not give conversion rates for silver to dollars. Also it gives Pi wrong, but I guess the good lord cares more about slavery than math.
The Christian apologists will tell you that you misunderstand the Camel/Eye of the Needle story. From Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_a_needle#Alternative_interpretation
“is Easier for a camel/needle . . .than a rich man to enter heaven . . .but it is not Impossible (inferred). Setting all hypothetical word definitions aside, When Jesus is first questioned by the young rich man, his first response is only (paraphrased) “You know of the commandments, adhere to them and you will find heaven”. If the rich man had left at this point, it could be inferred that wealth is not an obstacle to paradise. It is only when the rich man approaches Jesus a second time and asks again (paraphrased) “I have done these things since my youth, Is there nothing more I can do to ensure my place in heaven ?”, that Jesus tells him to give up his wealth. If the rich man was performing for his watching friends and trying to extend his contact with Jesus, then the additional requirements to dispose of wealth, could be considered a punitive action directed more toward the rich man’s insolence, than to his wealthy status. Otherwise, giving up wealth, would have been the first answer. Jesus did not say, “your wealth shows that you covet possessions, and you risk trespass of that commandment.” At this point, one must consider that Jesus was teaching his followers at the expense of the rich man.”
Or, they also like this interpretation: Another common explanation of the figure, is that Jesus was referring to a certain gate in Jerusalem called Needle’s Eye. This entry-point was built like the eye of a needle and so low that a camel could pass only if it entered kneeling and unencumbered with baggage. The lesson would then be that an eternal inheritance awaits those who unburden themselves of sin, and in particular, the things of this world. Also, kneeling represents submission and humility, which are required to enter into heaven. Although there is no historical evidence that such a gate ever existed, through frequent repetition the idea has attained the status of virtual dogma in some circles.[4]
You have to read the fine print with these messages:
* Terms and conditions apply. Actual results may vary, depending on strength of faith and subject to the discretion of God. Please allow an indefinite amount of time for results to be delivered. God and his spokespersons do not take responsibility for any actual harm or financial damage caused by trusting in them. By accepting offer of financial support, you are bound by the terms and conditions of the religion.
Remember:
The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.