Comments on: “The Bible says everything you need to know about finances.”

By: Dhes of Yuggoth

Dhes of Yuggoth — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 13:57:37 +0000

Heh. I remember getting some junk mail along these lines some years ago, asking me on the envelope flap in large, burgundy letters, if I’d accepted Jesus as my personal financial advisor. I nearly ruptured something laughing, convinced it had to have been a joke. Surely, right?

Unfortunately, they were absolutely serious. The interior was an impenetrable morass of Biblical babbling, at the center of which, I could discern no coherent thought or point. I’m not sure if it’s commentary on their business model, the probable failure of their ad campaign, or just on their less than persistent marketing style, but I haven’t gotten another solicitation from them. I sincerely hope they went out of business before ruining too many people’s finances.

By: Doubting Foo

Doubting Foo — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:17:49 +0000

Remember:
The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.

By: George

George — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:46:48 +0000

You have to read the fine print with these messages:

* Terms and conditions apply. Actual results may vary, depending on strength of faith and subject to the discretion of God. Please allow an indefinite amount of time for results to be delivered. God and his spokespersons do not take responsibility for any actual harm or financial damage caused by trusting in them. By accepting offer of financial support, you are bound by the terms and conditions of the religion.

By: lauram

lauram — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:45:00 +0000

Or, they also like this interpretation: Another common explanation of the figure, is that Jesus was referring to a certain gate in Jerusalem called Needle’s Eye. This entry-point was built like the eye of a needle and so low that a camel could pass only if it entered kneeling and unencumbered with baggage. The lesson would then be that an eternal inheritance awaits those who unburden themselves of sin, and in particular, the things of this world. Also, kneeling represents submission and humility, which are required to enter into heaven. Although there is no historical evidence that such a gate ever existed, through frequent repetition the idea has attained the status of virtual dogma in some circles.[4]

By: lauram

lauram — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:43:49 +0000

The Christian apologists will tell you that you misunderstand the Camel/Eye of the Needle story. From Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_of_a_needle#Alternative_interpretation

“is Easier for a camel/needle . . .than a rich man to enter heaven . . .but it is not Impossible (inferred). Setting all hypothetical word definitions aside, When Jesus is first questioned by the young rich man, his first response is only (paraphrased) “You know of the commandments, adhere to them and you will find heaven”. If the rich man had left at this point, it could be inferred that wealth is not an obstacle to paradise. It is only when the rich man approaches Jesus a second time and asks again (paraphrased) “I have done these things since my youth, Is there nothing more I can do to ensure my place in heaven ?”, that Jesus tells him to give up his wealth. If the rich man was performing for his watching friends and trying to extend his contact with Jesus, then the additional requirements to dispose of wealth, could be considered a punitive action directed more toward the rich man’s insolence, than to his wealthy status. Otherwise, giving up wealth, would have been the first answer. Jesus did not say, “your wealth shows that you covet possessions, and you risk trespass of that commandment.” At this point, one must consider that Jesus was teaching his followers at the expense of the rich man.”

By: Ian

Ian — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:23:06 +0000

Luckily, the Bible does go into detail about how to sell one’s daughter into slavery.

Unfortunately it does not give conversion rates for silver to dollars. Also it gives Pi wrong, but I guess the good lord cares more about slavery than math.

By: Chayanov

Chayanov — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:15:15 +0000

Don’t forget prosperity theology: “God wants you to become wealthy.”

By: Yoo

Yoo — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:45:26 +0000

The ad might mean something different than what it appears to mean at first glance: it might be suggesting that the only thing that “you” need to know is to give “us” (i.e. the church) all “your” money.

Basically, God is giving “us” everything “we” need by having “you” give “us” all “your” money. And “you” don’t need to worry about “your” finances, since “you” won’t have any ..