Here’s a creative way to get Jehovah’s Witnesses to leave you alone forever. I’m not fond of lying, and it’s oh so fun to run logical circles around them, but it’s interesting nevertheless. I wonder if it really works.
-
Subscribe
4,500 subscribers. 10,000 daily views.
Recent Comments
Fool: It may not be nice to deal with Christian volunteers, but at least David isn’t hypocritical… His... Daryl, The Christian Volunteer
Custador: Everybody has a certain degree of tribalism. In the case of the US census I believe it’s so they can determine... The Evil Census!
Bob Lafferty: I filled mine out and sent it. However, where it asked for race, I filled in “human”. I don’t see... The Evil Census!
Boz: rehosted http://i.imgur.com/864Av.png Daryl, The Christian Volunteer
JonJon: I think that would be one of the better blogs out there… Poetic Atheism
AnonyMouse: This was a TOTALLY inappropriate way to deal with the… erm, Christian Volunteer, but it’s... Daryl, The Christian Volunteer
NoE: I already sent mine – but – my neighbor threw hers away, so I guess it all evens out. LOL The Evil Census!
Paul: Hilarious… and unfortunately, it will fall on deaf ears for those who need satire the most. >< The Evil Census!
-
11 Comments
Life leads us in funny walks on the wandering information highways. Creatrix is a great friend.
Personally I have adopted the strategy of letting them tell you about the wonders of spiritual experience, telling them you’ve felt a similar stirring, and then telling them all about your conversion to Amway.
I don’t have the time or the energy to try to tell them politely I’m not interested. I haven’t had JWs at the door in a long time, but have always wanted to try answering the door naked, with a cat in one hand, a butcher knife in the other, and say “Oh good! You’re just in time for the sacrifice!”
My favorite thing to do is to ask them:
“So, you believe that only 144,000 people are going to heaven?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, so aren’t you statistically lowering your chances of getting in by evangelizing?”
(Head asplodes.)
My experience in Spain is that when they start to offer you their magazines, in Spain ( Atalaya or Despertad) is saying: “Oh, so you’re a JW? I already know them and I’m not interested at all. “and they leave you in peace either in the street or home. One day a man told me that I was missing God’s words. My reply was “YOUR god’s words” and they simply disappeared!
Yeah, it’s rather amusing that only 144,000 people are going to heaven while there are several million JW members. However, the 144,000 are the ones supposed to rule in heaven along with Jesus while all the rest will dwell on earth, which will also be a paradise after the apocalypse.
So all JWs are going to live in paradise, it’s just that some of them get VIP seats.
I heard the JW HQ issued a proclamation in the 1930’s that heaven was now filled up. I don’t know if it’s true.
PS: Does anyone else get a 404 on the link?
@trj: Link still works for me.
I did a podcast on the subject (http://tiny.cc/21LPr). It gives an elaborate way of getting the best of them taking their own bible out of their hands and reading it back to them.
A quicker method is to tell them that living forever in a world populated only by Jehovah’s Witnesses would be the most awful hell ever. They won’t have a comeback for that.
Another great way to accomplish this without lying (in fact, it’s probably the ultimate form of truth-telling.)
Answer the door with a big smile and no clothes on.
About the 145 000 in heaven. New doctrine was invented ‘other sheep’ which lets all JW into heaven.
JW is known for periodically rewrite their prophecy books with a new end of the world date and then pretend the older books don’t exist. First ‘world ending’ was in 1914.
An ex JW talks about JW’s history on Minnesota Atheists (29 minutes).
video google com/videoplay?docid=-8991441546065490253
add dots above obviously.
Google (video) clues if it doesn’t work:
“Minnesota Atheists”
“Cults, Part 2″
“George Kane” “Grant Steves”
Well worth listening to if interested in the JW’s history.
Simply tell them that you will gladly sit down and talk with them when they start turning in their pedophile members to the police. Advise them that they are all protectors of child molesters. Humiliate them with this fact and watch the cowards run like scalded dogs.