By Here’s a creative way to get Jehovah’s Witnesses to leave you alone forever. I’m not fond of lying, and it’s oh so fun to run logical circles around them, but it’s interesting nevertheless. I wonder if it really works.
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Life leads us in funny walks on the wandering information highways. Creatrix is a great friend.
Personally I have adopted the strategy of letting them tell you about the wonders of spiritual experience, telling them you’ve felt a similar stirring, and then telling them all about your conversion to Amway.
I don’t have the time or the energy to try to tell them politely I’m not interested. I haven’t had JWs at the door in a long time, but have always wanted to try answering the door naked, with a cat in one hand, a butcher knife in the other, and say “Oh good! You’re just in time for the sacrifice!”
My favorite thing to do is to ask them:
“So, you believe that only 144,000 people are going to heaven?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, so aren’t you statistically lowering your chances of getting in by evangelizing?”
(Head asplodes.)
My experience in Spain is that when they start to offer you their magazines, in Spain ( Atalaya or Despertad) is saying: “Oh, so you’re a JW? I already know them and I’m not interested at all. “and they leave you in peace either in the street or home. One day a man told me that I was missing God’s words. My reply was “YOUR god’s words” and they simply disappeared!
Yeah, it’s rather amusing that only 144,000 people are going to heaven while there are several million JW members. However, the 144,000 are the ones supposed to rule in heaven along with Jesus while all the rest will dwell on earth, which will also be a paradise after the apocalypse.
So all JWs are going to live in paradise, it’s just that some of them get VIP seats.
I heard the JW HQ issued a proclamation in the 1930’s that heaven was now filled up. I don’t know if it’s true.
PS: Does anyone else get a 404 on the link?
@trj: Link still works for me.
I did a podcast on the subject (http://tiny.cc/21LPr). It gives an elaborate way of getting the best of them taking their own bible out of their hands and reading it back to them.
A quicker method is to tell them that living forever in a world populated only by Jehovah’s Witnesses would be the most awful hell ever. They won’t have a comeback for that.
Another great way to accomplish this without lying (in fact, it’s probably the ultimate form of truth-telling.)
Answer the door with a big smile and no clothes on.
About the 145 000 in heaven. New doctrine was invented ‘other sheep’ which lets all JW into heaven.
JW is known for periodically rewrite their prophecy books with a new end of the world date and then pretend the older books don’t exist. First ‘world ending’ was in 1914.
An ex JW talks about JW’s history on Minnesota Atheists (29 minutes).
video google com/videoplay?docid=-8991441546065490253
add dots above obviously.
Google (video) clues if it doesn’t work:
“Minnesota Atheists”
“Cults, Part 2″
“George Kane” “Grant Steves”
Well worth listening to if interested in the JW’s history.
Simply tell them that you will gladly sit down and talk with them when they start turning in their pedophile members to the police. Advise them that they are all protectors of child molesters. Humiliate them with this fact and watch the cowards run like scalded dogs.
Im a Jehovah witness and I actually didn’t like them before I got into the truth.im only seventeen & was having a bad life til Jehovah witnesses came to my door for like the fifth time so I decided to give them a chance and now I just am so grateful they kept knocking on my door because being in the rift religion and actually understanding it is the best present I’ve ever got.give it a chance all of you.
“.im only seventeen & was having a bad life til Jehovah witnesses came to my door”
Enough said. Religion: Picking on naive, inexperienced people when they’re at their weakest.
i did for 15 years of my life an i ended up in foster care caz of the things my mother an father were doing to me that the “kingdom hall” said was ok to do to children! now you tell me how that is + thing in life to call ur self a JW?
144 thousand are going to to heaven and the rest of Jehovah’s witnesses are going to Paradise. Learn your fact before you speak. Go read the Bible so you can get your facts straight.
> “Go read the Bible so you can get your facts straight.”
Yes, if only people would read the Bible, then they’d all agree on the facts it contains.
This is a truth.
where in the bible it says that #? NO WHERE!
They come to my door every Sunday. It’s annoying. It’s like they think if they check back enough times I’ll give in. I just joined the Catholic church a year ago because of my beliefs. I respect their right to have theirs, but not to try to force my to change mine. I’m thinking about answering the door naked and inviting them in from now on. Mind you, I’d only open the door a crack and explain I was naked, then ask them if they wanted to come in anyway. This way to talk to me they’d have to agree to sit across from my naked self while they try to convince me I need their church. lol.
Festival of life by Kevin bloody Wilson.
ok i was a jw till i was 15 years old an then placed in foster care… when they come to ur door just tell em u were disfelowshiped an they will never be back for they are not to talk to u!