Tract-or-treat

When I was a Christian, instead of handing out candy, I would sometimes hand out Christian books and tracts. I thought it might save some poor kid from being eternally tortured in hell by my patient, ever-loving, kind God.

I don’t think it ever worked, but this video reminded me of that obnoxious time in my life:

(via)


12 Comments

  1. Daniel,
    My posterior actually disconnected from the rest of my body due to laughter.

  2. Yep, that was me so many years ago…how sad.

  3. I’m proud to say that was never me, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster! I hated all that fake witnessing bullshit. I guess that should have been my clue that I’d end up an atheist. ;-)

  4. Man, this is why I am scared like crazy to let my kids go anywhere without me.

    Last year I was at a mall with my best friend and her daughter and some dude in a Santa suit was passing out these nicely-wrapped “gifts” to unsuspecting children.

    Rip off the tissue paper and it was some card talking about HELL. Good gravy, do these people want to give kids nightmares?

  5. @Bellesouth:

    do these people want to give kids nightmares?

    Of course they do! How else will they get them to pray some prayer to an invisible god-man named Jesus? They have to tell them they’ll burn forever. What’s a simple prayer compared to that?

  6. haha! that video was.. hilarious, and scary at the same time. Do you know the people that made it, or did you just happen upon it on youtube?

    p.s. I agree about Obama. I’m super stoked :)

  7. I’ll tell you what does work…

    LSD!

    Seriously, Ben Folds wrote a song about it.

  8. “do these people want to give kids nightmares?”

    I recall an account of an angry father rushing to save his distraught toddler who was screaming something like “why does Jesus want to burn me!” He found out they had shown the children a video of an unrepentant sinner burning in hell.

    Yes, they do want to give them nightmares.

  9. @masonjars: Just found it on another site (see the “via” link).

  10. Uh. That made me feel queezy. Do people actually do things like that?

  11. @wazza:
    Hey! What do the Mormons have to do with this?

    Oh, wait … silly me … I got confused.

    LSD is the powerful drug that can affect your perception of reality temporarily.

    LDS is a powerful opiate of the masses that can affect your perception of reality for a lifetime.

    So easy to confuse the two.

  12. That was made of Awesome!!!! With genuine Chick Tracts to boot!!!

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