These guys have it all figured out, don’t they? And no, they’re not joking:
I disagree strongly with this. Through my rigorous testing and analysis, I measured 43.5% accessibility of Divine Consciousness frequencies, and 12.97% of Divine Consciousness frequencies transmitted outside the body.
I dare them to show evidence against my claims!
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48 Comments
hilarious!
I call Poe’s Law on this one.
Does wearing a bulletproof vest make any difference here?
This must be a joke. Even the average theist isn’t deluded enough to believe that crap! Are they?
I checked out the site and it looks like a bunch of new age woo that picks and chooses ideas from Eastern and Western religious woo, and sprinkles a bit of pseudoscience in for good measure.
It reminds me of an ad in a newage zine I picked up a few years ago, promising the benefits you would get from taking their course in Enlightenment (or whatever). I had to chuckle, as the list of benefits cited sounded a lot like going up a level in AD&D, as given in the Player’s Manual.
+1 to my initiative? Man I’m totally doing that ritual.
I’ve always thought of the modern desire to rediscover the old-time religion as being equivalent to pining for the days of THAC0.
Probably with the exact same eventual result.
“Huh, this turns out to be overly complicated and annoying.”
These comparisons between RPGs and religion always reminds me of this webcomic strip. The first time I read it I nearly passed out laughing.
That was awesome! ha!
No, it’s true because the 5% Divine frequencies that goes outside the body makes you forget how to spell consciousness.
It’s amazing that anyone would spend that much time making that web page.
Custador: it may very well NOT be a joke but just one more of the seemingly endless ways preachers try to make a buck. There is a buyer for every loony product you can sell and the more you come up with, the more buyers you will find. As they say, if you keep throwing shit on the wall some of it will stick.
I think these people are quite serious.
Kinda looks like some sort of a weird beer bong apparatus to me…
Is that kind of pray paraphernalia even legal? I hope he didn’t inhale that Divine Consciousness.
That’s hilarious! Did you see the correct position of the head when praying?
Geez!
That position should include a warning for causing backaches
A-HA! It’s a conspiracy of chiropractors, no doubt.
awesome. now i know how to get god to listen to me. to think that i was doing it wrong all this time. why didn’t god tell me what to do? oh, that’s right, nevermind.
That is freaking hilarious. I can’t believe it is a serious diagram created by Christians. I would assume it was a comical spoof if you didn’t provide the link. Religion never ceases to amaze me.
I’ll be pinging this one on my blog. Too funny to not share it.
Not by Christians, by New Age woos.
Ahhh. This is much more expected from a New Age wako. But still hilarious.
That’s what I get for clicking a link and only looking at the pretty pictures.
so sad……. we humans can be downright STUPID!!
funny as funk tho!
the site has a graph that states that prayers that are for the “final liberation of others” are answered by the highest deities……! if getting people on his team was so important to the old fella, WHY THE HELL ARE NON_BELIEVERS SLOWLY TAKEING OVER? lmao!!
I detect a complete violation of the First Law of Experimental Theology – Divine Energy is neither created or destroyed, but must be conserved. If only 5% of the original input of 20% escapes to the environemnt, the remaining 15% is going to keep building up inside the body of the person praying until they reach Nirvana…or go BOOM! Where are the rate equations so someone praying knows when to “pull out”? Is there a Divine Energy safety valve?
It’s called the anus.
ROFL!
Ya know, is pretty similar to the black box radiation. The worshiper is reflecting Divine Consciousness outside the body at a rate of 5% til the inner consicioussness reach a limit; then he transmit his own Divine Conscioussness, but in a different frequency. We have some cases recorded in history: Jesus, Moses, Abraham, George Bush…
Wow, this is fantastic. Do you have to be facing in any specific direction for this to work? It’ll change my life.
Or, I’ll have another beer. That’s rather more likely.
Yup, another beer.
This reminded me of being in a jewelry store this past weekend and hearing the
hippielady behind the counter babbling about the “energies” of certain stones and how she recharges hers by bathing them in full moon-light and other nonsense.Where do they come up with this stuff??
There just seems to be no end to people believing complete bullshit.
I wonder what the people that come up with this could do if they put an effort toward something that all of mankind could benefit from. With imaginations like this they could do some real good I think. To bad they have wasted so much on foolishness.
Please tell me I wasn’t the only person who read “spiritual level” but was thinking “Power Level” a la Dragon Ball Z.
I am a physicist, and think-positive, really try to love the sinner hate the sin and blah blah blah and yet…
I go RAMPAGE when I get people blathering about “frequencies” and “vibration”, “energy” and so on, reducing and limiting the beauty of Nature to human mind patterns.
That’s supreme arrogance.
They get away with it only because they use concepts so vague that are ultimately meaningless, unverifiable, unfalsifiable.
And, the joke is that they are borrowing those very concepts from the Physics that they blatantly ignore and belittle.
Whether it’s these guys or the fundies, it is so bizarre how they just completely frickin’ make stuff up and think that it’s real! I figured out a long time ago that thinking something doesn’t make it real (else I would have have won the lottery over and over by now). I’ve gotten replies from comments I’ve left on YouTube videos, and it’s the same thing. “There may be a little evidence supporting evolution, but there is a ton of evidence agaisnt it. It’s just not a scientifically sound theory.” It makes my brain hurt and I feel sad. :(
That’s why I keep up with this and a few other blogs – Yay! Thinking people!!!
yay thinking people indeed. if only there were more of us we might be able to prevent things like this from existing.
Compelling graphic, numbers, fancy language… How can you skeptics not believe this stuff?
/snark
So many graphs and diagrams to laugh at, I don’t know where to start. I followed a link for subtle pictures and they provided a protective border around the pictures of the ghosts. Because they might get out of the computer otherwise. I especially love all the reasons they come up with why your prayers won’t work.
“Prayers by people of lower spiritual level for things that affect the wider population such as world peace or a reduction in global warming have no effect.”
That is one hundred percent accurate.
It’s almost painfully ironic, isn’t it?
Ew, they’re praying in spritual funk……or is that spiritual pee?
My Lord! Where have the old times gone, when you could see a Poe with your eyes closed?
PZ picked this up. News travels fast when you pray in this position.
This made my day.
BTW, through my own rigorous testing and analysis, I only measured 43.4% accessibility of Divine Consciousness frequencies. Maybe Jesus is mad at me…
You scooped Pharyngula on this one. Well done. :)
Oh wait … I see you just mentioned PZ. But still–having PZ pick something up deserves a ^5!
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