I received this precious gem of an email from “TABS”:
SO YOU ARE AWARE YOU ARE SINNNING. IT IS THE WILL OF GOD THAT ALL PEOPLE WILL REPENT AND HAVE ETERNAL LIFE. IN THE DAYS OF JESUS, PEOPLE LIKE YOU WERE THERE. YOU CAN NOT TOUCH THE ANNOINTED AND EXPECT TO LIVE ETERNALLY. YOU BETTER DO WHAT YOU HAVE MENTIONED ABOVE OR YOU WILL SUFFER ETERNAL FIRE.
I used to receive emails like that quite often, but I changed my contact page to include this:
Emails containing personal insults, offensive comments, or demands for me to repent will be deleted or posted to the site for public mockery. If you’re about to write something like that, take a deep breath and go do something positive instead. Thanks.
Thankfully, most folks take a deep breath and do something else. But there are always a few nutcases that just can’t help but tell me I’m going to hell. They get a rush from it — they get pleasure from knowing I’ll laugh at them, because it means they are being “persecuted for Jesus” and thus must be right.
Poor saps.
John M: I think the biggest issue we are seeing is that this kind of money is available to pastors in the first... 
Siberia: I kind of don’t give a rat’s ass about propagating my genes. I’d much rather have this particular iteration of my... 
Ty: If that was a possible benefit of being above the line, then yes. I’m extraordinarily capable of success when I... 
K: Couldn’t agree more – especially as I’ve studied the Bible on the role of women and... 
Erp: Interesting. Many years ago I helped my aunt sort out some of her late mother-in-law’s... 
Peter Cross: The Age of Reason is sometimes published and sold without Part 3: Examination of the... 
43 Comments
Richard Dawkins has a video where he reads out his hate mail. It’s hillarious
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxdxZ47JouU
TABS should change his moniker to CAPS.
And I was always wondering where those loonies were getting there keyboards from…
There must be a HUGE market for keyboards that only generate capital letters :D
I’m glad I don’t get your email traffic. It might be me but have read this 3 times and it still makes no real sense.
I was just going to say this. Does it actually have a meaning? Please ’splain so that I can persecute someone because they love jesus.
In my personal experience, and this has been confirmed through such places as this website, fundies always type in caps. Why is this? It’s perplexing.
Guess it has something to do with the fact that upper case is usually considered shouting. And since we all know that He Who Shouteth the Most Loudethst Is the Rightethst, those people have just found yet another way of showing us the errors of our ways. ;)
Argumentum ad Bill O’Reilly
“He Who Shouteth the Most Loudethst Is the Rightethst”
I love it when you quote scripture
Yeah, usually scripture doesn’t mean much to me but I was very moved by this verse.
2th grade education for grammar, punctuation, clarity and typing skills. Hey Fundie, next time write more like an adult with at least a 12th grade education. We might not mock you as much.
75% of Fundies in the U.S. are home-schooled (by other poorly-educated fundies, it would seem).
Isn’t it scary that such a large percentage of the next generation will have virtually no education, and worse, will be “schooled in the ways of the lord”???? I get chills.
Poorly written anti atheist diatribes make the baby Jesus cry.
Yay, Nutbar email!
I’m going to start sending militant atheist emails to Fundies in all lowercase.
you are wrong there is no god and jesus didn’t rise from the dead…… there is no heaven or hell……. just live your life the best you can and stop bothering other people with your bullshit.
* * *
Hmm, it just doesn’t have the same effect. We need some kind of horrible eternal consequence if they don’t think exactly like we do
You got it all wrong! Where is the 2nd grade grammar? The endless run-on sentences that make absolutely no sense? Teh typohs because you are frothing with anger and need to write your hate mail as fast as possible? Quoting Darwin? Or Dawkins?
Guess that means we have to set up an online course “Atheist Hate Mail 101″
you are wrong there is no god and jeezus didn’t rise from the dead there is no heaven or hell just live your life the best you can and stop bothering me with your bullshit because if you r not nise then no1 will remembr you and your wont even be written down anywhere (even that silly book of life LOL) you will just cease to be without mattering.
——-
Better?
Much more betterer.
mebe we shud raht this in lolcat but no charm or hoomer.
Ahem, Double Hell
Oblivion isn’t as scary as Hell. Hm.
Yeah, exactly: Xians have the threat of eternal punishment on their side with which to scare and coerce people into following, and the non-religious don’t.
Emotional appeal (all caps) against rational appeal (a modicum of literacy) – it all fits.
P.S. to fundies: you are piss-poor representative of Jesus.
I suppose he isn’t spinning in his grave – he must be grinding his teeth to heavenly powder with the insult of you calling yourself “little christs”.
Oh gosh…perhaps I should step in here and make it clear I am not the “TABS” who sent this email. It is my strong suspicion that many such letter writers would be convinced by the mere flame of a cigarette lighter to recant their faith in a heartbeat, even if only until the pain had stopped. It may also be worthy to note that I would consider it a blessing to have an eternal fire over which to roast my hot dog and marshmallows. =P
mmmmm….s’mores. :):
Ah, it’s so nice to see how much anger is involved in loving.
You should have used the “Get a brain, morans” picture.
I’m not sure it’s so much about the anger as the smug self-righteousness.
All caps just shows how much they care. It is, afterall, about the eternal damnation of your soul.
IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE OF THIS:
http://imgur.com/IJdtT.jpg
Are these JOKERS AWARE the GEEBUS is a FIGMENT of their IMAGINATION?????
But you can’t keep sinnning, Daniel!
You need to be savvved!
PZ goes one step further – his disclaimer reserves the right to not only publish the email with the sender’s name, but also his full email address, IP, and his ISP. In one case, this led to the sacking of a woman whose husband had sent hatemail (death threats) from her work terminal.
HELL AWAITS YOU
REPENT – MORANS
Ahhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Daniel, I getting around to posting a request to print some of your nuttiest emails, and you aced it. Although it probably would eventually become repetitive – Christians lack originality in their hate mail as already shown – would you care to post some good ones now and then?
I say, change the text to read that you will post the mail publicly – AND submit his e-mail address to as many spam lists as possible.
You don’t have to do it, just leave the threat there.
Never issue a threat that you’re not prepared to follow through.
It never ceases to amaze me how “decent Christian folks” are always eager to see non-believers “burn in Hell”. Wouldn’t you think they’d be more forgiving?
And furthermore, if their god is so freakin’ powerful, don’t they realize that they don’t have to defend it?
If they didn’t have that doctrine to preoccupy them, they’d have to realize that they really are fantasizing passive-aggressive borderline schizophrenic sociopathic assholes. I can’t blame them for repressing that inconvenient truth.
Christians forgiving… good one, hahahahahaha!
What “forgiving” christians say is more like “You are in for such a big surprise/nasty shock when you die. We have to give up the good stuff in this life, but weíll get ours (the good stuff) when we die. You bad atheists get the good stuff now, but you will get YOURS (the really really bad stuff) when you die. And it will be FOREVER! And you will finally see Iím right when you get yours, bwaaaaahhaaahaahahaha!”
Watch for it, you’ll read it. More than once.
Hell would be spending eternity with fundies.
SO YOU ARE AWARE YOU ARE SINNNING.(no such thing) IT IS THE WILL OF GOD (who doesn’t exist) THAT ALL PEOPLE WILL REPENT AND HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (death ends life). IN THE DAYS OF JESUS (fictional), PEOPLE LIKE YOU WERE THERE (wtf?). YOU CAN NOT TOUCH THE ANNOINTED AND EXPECT TO LIVE ETERNALLY (this sentence is rubbish). YOU BETTER DO WHAT YOU HAVE MENTIONED ABOVE OR YOU WILL SUFFER ETERNAL FIRE (again, no such thing).
When I see how most christians, or fundies of any belief, think and act, it’s embarrassing to me as a human being. I am even more offended when “secular humanism” is called religion, which apparently it is now.
http://atheism.about.com/library/FAQs/cs/blcsm_crt_humanism.htm?nl=1
If secular humanism is a religion, let’s make it official. Let’s have a humanist church and make it TAX EXEMPT. At least there will be one church telling people the truth.