Armor of God PJs

Teach your kiddies all about how to fight for Jesus with these armor of God PJs:

Armor of God PJs

And then if you want to invite King Jesus into your heart and “get saved,” just follow their ABC’s and pray this magical prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,

I know I have done wrong and I need to say I am sorry.  I believe You are the Son of God, He sent You to die for my sins and You rose from the grave on the third day.  I want to turn away from doing wrong. I need Your forgiveness and ask You to come into my life and heart.  I will trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Boy does that bring back memories. I used to have a whole pitch that would always culminate in asking the disgusting sinner — I mean, seeker — if they were ready to pray this prayer.

I’m glad most people turned me down!


45 Comments

  1. I’m sure that’s why I apostatized late in life: I didn’t have Armor of God PJs growing up.

  2. Reginald Selkirk

    Coming soon for atheists: Chariots of Iron PJs (Judges 1:19)

  3. Question-I-thority

    The way in which this mother interacted with her daughter to relieve anxiety and then how another individual links this outward to other kids shows how mild forms of obsessive compulsive disorder are related to some religious practices. There are so many examples of this type of thing from cleansing rituals to kosher foods to holy underwear, etc. etc.

  4. I have holey underwear. Does that count?

  5. sad, sad, sad. Innovative, if you are a christian, but sad nonetheless.

  6. This reminds me of when I was a kid and was part of the “Crusaders” which was like Boy Scouts for fundies, but more about Bible reading than going into the woods. We had to recite that verse about the armour of god in every meeting. And we also had to wear a silly costume, but not as bad as the PJs.

    (ps I’m a long time lurker and read this site every day, finally decided to make my first post here. Hello!)

    • Question-I-thority

      Welcome BillZbub. Were you Foursquare? Sounds like my childhood. We also crafted an Armor of God play shield when I was a ‘Cadet’ waiting to become a ‘Crusader’.

  7. God gave her the idea for PJs? Why doesn’t god give her the cure for cancer?

  8. …only in America.

  9. I love the sexist imagery, too. The boy gets a helmet of salvation, while the girl gets…a tiara of salvation. Apparently, little girls get sub-standard armor for deflecting those spiritual blows, which is why they have to be silent in church, I guess.

  10. That is some ridiculous nonsense, right there. “God” gave her an idea for some fugly PJs? He couldn’t have given her the correct lottery numbers? Or told her the secret for beating the Devil at some nefarious scheme? Or, you know, forgone that whole “inspiration for stupid PJs” bit and gotten off his duff to reveal himself to the whole of humanity, thus, negating the need for ill-conceived products such as this? *facepalm*

  11. I don’t know, that little Faith pillow is cute. Great accessory for my paladin themed corner.

  12. and when he goes away to college and has a panic attack when the pajamas don’t come in his size, what THEN? FOR THE LOVE OF JEEBUS, WHAT THEN??

    • Then Mommy, as a good christian mother would, will make a bigger size of pj’s for her darling boy. These pj’s will also armor him from the attentions of Questionable Women while he’s at college.

      A double win for the Mommy.

  13. I saw a teddy bear in these PJ’s the other day — in a last-stop thrift store. Yeeeeeah, I didn’t buy it either. Sorry, Teddy.

  14. Just as long as they are aware that receiving an armor of God removes their free will, hmmm?

  15. Yes, its so simple and beautiful, even a child can understand (Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so, little one’s to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong). But it’s way too complex for an “adult” who are all grown up. He is the humble King indeed, and has chosen the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.

    Confounded, dumbfounded…be found’ed! :)

    • And even a child can understand Santa Claus, but that’s way too complex for adults. Therefore…. what, exactly?

    • I’m a Christian and dumbfounded…..yeah, this looks rather dumb. How do the pjs protect you? I know there are Christians who have pictures/statues of Mary/Jesus-no idea who decided who Jesus and Mary look(ed) like, blond even, when we know Jews don’t look like that, or have blue eyes- that they pray to/facing towards. What happened to the commandment that we shall have nothing in heaven, on the earth or under the earth representing God? I mean, if the pjs really are meant to ward off the Devil. Oh well, maybe someone lost something while translating the Bible into my language, after all? I’ve been suspecting that for some time now.

      • Just wondering… you mean while translating the hebrew bible to greek? Or from greek to latin? Maybe from latin to vulgar latin? Or after that, to old english?

    • When I was three years old and hospitalized for several lllonnnggg months, watching other kids come and go, go to who knows where, I had trouble understanding “Yes, its so simple and beautiful, even a child can understand (Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so, little one’s to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong).” Oh I get it…he is strong and he can punish the crap out of you, you chicken weakling, just for existing!

  16. The Bunny suit from “A Christmas Story” would be a better gift.

  17. timmy the frisky virus

    Wow, these will make you the coolest kids at sleep-overs!

  18. claidheamh mor

    Those PJs look like drawings I’ve seen of the Crusades. Or is it the Inquisition? Or did they pretty much do the same thing, killing, torturing, etc.?

    Not quite original material from this mother, eh what?

  19. “…to give her a safe and secure feeling in the dark”
    That’s it. The origin of religions!

  20. Isn’t this the first step to a magical christian underware, just like the mormon one?

  21. LongTallDrink

    I was a Crusader too! Regional bible drill champ! Ah, good times. These pj’s bring a tear to my eye. And a queasy feeling to my belly.

  22. I never knew silk could ward off Satan in our children’s dreams. Maybe he doesn’t like the wormy silk smell.

  23. Shouldn’t the little girl have a night dress. Isn’t it a sin for her to wear pants? Cause when she grows up she might wear rainbow pajamas and kiss other girls?

  24. anyone else think that this looks like the garb of the KKK?

  25. I think you are all being very harsh on these pj’s. They have a message! And that message is:
    “Guess what religion my parents believe in!”

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