That’s right! You can’t see it, feel it, or touch it — but this person absolutely knows angels are battling over the fate of your soul! Because some ancient book says so in some obscure passage!
Be brave, fellow atheists. Don’t let your Dark Master down!
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68 Comments
um…yeah. so the angel wins by cheating? that doesn’t seem very Christian.
“A Battle Wages Over Your Soul…”
They can have it.
Well, not for free. I say the highest bidder gets it.
I wonder how much they go for on eBay these days….
Wait, the guy’s about to slit his wrist, and the angel just sits there playing games?
Best part of this video is that God is a cheater, and the devil is the one following the rules. Satan is the worst sinner ever.
Well, to be fair, it’s the girl that cheats. The angel just tells her to, and takes advantage of it.
If a third party did that in a real chess match, they’d reasonably be expected to start over.
Yeah but God gets to make the ruling because Satan is a square who follows the rules. God doesn’t endorse do overs. Except of course that whole flood mess, but he said he was sorry about that so I guess I’ll be the bigger man and forgive him, I mean we all mess up sometimes right?
I thought god was the perfect creator of the universe?
Yes, he never changes. Except when he does. Often. All of the time. Which means never.
As the caption winner for Jesus with-you-always said:
“I’ll always be there for you. Just not, you know, helping.”
That was egregiously dorky. Was that a sound of a four-engine propeller aircraft in the background, or their mother fixing their dinner?
Of course, angels, God, Jesus, and other dwellers in the welkin wear robes, because um, well, Bronze Age Middle Easterners wear them! Satan can’t decide whether to go with loose robes – red, of course! – or show off his body (apparently a christian sin) with form-fitting tights.
wow what kind of closet drama queen thought this one up? LOL
looking at the users other vids i would say they’re trying to make a name for themselves amognst the church crowd lol
I am amazed that the demon has lighter hair and skin than the angel. So many of my xtian acquaintances are like…”I’m not racist, but…”
That is easily one of the dorkiest videos I’ve ever seen.
I quit watching after the pathetically portentous “Every second, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every fiscal quarter, of every Julian calendar year, a battle rages over YOUR SOOOOUL. Dude. Quit being a woo-filled drama queen and live your life.
I bet kasparov could win both of them easily, they don’t seem very brilliant… waitamoment, isn’t god all knowing? How can you win against a player who sees all your moves in advance?
UGH. Pass the sick bucket.
‘Every day, every hour, every second……….(I’m with Matt)
Why is that guy in a public rest room with his razor blade and shaving kit?
I think god just wanted to get his sister in a video.
Yeah, she needs the help. She’s rather unfortunate-looking.
Now come on Jeff, don’t pick on the girl she’s a cute, it’s not her fault she’s in a cult. I’m certain they’re parents just love showing everyone how brainwashed their kids are by showing friends and family this “very deep” video.
Hopefully the girl will fall for some guy who can encourage her to realize there are no creepy strangers following her around at all times ; )
This was so dorky. Yes, indeed. When they are at the bottom of the stairs, you can almost see up Satan’s dress. I think the sheets over bare legs was a critical error. The razor blade guy was all paranoid, but you can clearly see a 4th person in the mirror of the bathroom. Was he really going to off himself? He looked like he was going to make a drug deal or commit vandalism. It’s time to slit my wrists in a public bathroom – no, I think I’ll stop myself and check the hallway nervously before I get back to it.
Anyone willing to trade a soul for a hippocampus?
I’ll give you one for a human adrenal gland!
I think I have a hypothalamus or two collecting dust in the garage…
Actually, I’d rather have a gryphon.
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
If you’ve never seen anything dumber than that you should search on YouTube for Ted Haggard – he’s truly the dumbest animal on the planet.
What a meaningless steaming heap of crap. And why are these mythical beings always playing chess? If anyone’s waging a battle for my soul I want them to be doing it with Kerplunk, or perhaps Pictionary….
Bill and Ted played Battleship for their immortal souls.
So they did. That’s much more fun. What about hopscotch? That would be great. god and the devil playing hopscotch for my immortal soul :o)
What about boxing?
You want my soul? Come and take it.
That would sort the men out from the … errr… mythical beings… :o)
How about a compromise: Chess boxing!
http:/www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_boxing
Deep Blue pwns at the soul-gathering business?
That’s….not checkmate. The king can easily move out of it.
I was VERY disappointed when I realized that the shot of the angel and demon squating at the bottom of the stairs after the cigarette lighting, wasn’t of them playing dice.
I actually like it, as a short story. Some scary myhical story.
But if this was really true then again this would be proof that we have an evil god.
He has set up a trap and everyone that makes a slight mistake loses any chance in getting the big reward. So why would a good god refuse people into heaven since he can create as many places as he wants.
I prefer the budda version, if you make a mistake then you have to retry your life again untill you successfully completed your lifes path. Everybody wins, once you get enough experience.
SO much more life-enhancing to figure that you’re not going anywhere, that you’ve got as long as you need to “get it right”, while the christians have to deal with the fear-inducing, conformity-coercing ploy, device and trick that “this is your *only* chance! and if you blow that, you’ll be punished forever! Bwaaahahahahaha!”
I found it a huge relief to recognize that my actions do not have eternal significance.
Do you mean
Or
?
But, but, but…….what if my guardian angel really sucks at playing chess? I’M DOOOOOOOMED.
One would think that a superior deity like Biblegod that is allegedly perfect wouldn’t need to create “guardian” angels. Or angels period. Or humans…or the universe.
What does God need with a starship, indeed.
That was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. I did stop laughing when the razor blade came out, but the ending was purely hysterical. Too funny!
That’s right. Everything bad that happens to you is because of Satan. Don’t place the real blame on yourself. Nope. It’s never you, it’s him.
Satan would be the kind of douchbag who still calls people ‘bro’. Instead of the red cape they should have put him in a dress shirt with a popped collar and frosted tips in his hair. The Frat Boy of the Apocalypse!
so remember kiddos, not going to church leads directly to cutting your wrists in out of order bathrooms.
I like the detail that her angel really really sucked at chess. He had only the king left while the devil still had most of his pieces, all of them positioned at his own half of the board. I mean, how bad do you have to be at chess to end up in that situation? Then the girl trashes the board, and suddenly it’s the devil having only the king while angel-boy now has several pieces. Smooth.
Hey, don’t make fun. It’s the classic Nigerian Reversal. You intentionally put yourself into a losing position, and then…
“Hey, look over there!”
Spin the board around, and suddenly they’re the one who has been reduced to a king. It’s a risky maneuver, but obviously it’s easy for someone like God to pull off.
Hadn’t thought of that. I suppose it works best if the pieces are all the same color.
hahahahahaha Nigerian reversal! That was funnier than the video itself!
Hahaaaahahaha. How could that girl at the beginning even see her book in the dark?
You just wasted 2 minutes of my life. I demand them back.
This must be crappiest video I have ever seen. :(
I enjoy the fact that the forces of evil are represented by a fat guy in a red moo moo who calls people “bro”.
If I understand correctly, the speaker tries to imply that we can reject ‘the former master’ best when we’re half asleep. Was he trying to sound menacing or something?
Interesting that it’s all a game for those ‘perfectly loving and just’ forces of good.
Interesting that suddenly free will goes out the window as the chubby white robe guy tells her what to say.
“Interesting that suddenly free will goes out the window as the chubby white robe guy tells her what to say.”
Actually, I think it’s a rather accurate depiction of the Christian concept of free will: You may freely choose not to do what God/Jesus/angels tell you to and end in Hell as a result.
well yeah (duh) :)
‘Here I am, having created all that exists (except myself), being all-powerful. But sadly (and this really makes me, the ever unchanging and never self-contradicting one, very sad) I’ll have to let you go to hell, a place that was never intended for humans which I knew when I created it, to be tortured forever (which I have decreed in my absolutely perfect state of moral goodness), because I’ve made this law (knowing exactly what it would lead to) and it can’t change because I’m so intelligent and can do everything. Except think of anything else but to send a version of myself to a region of Earth populated by mostly illiterate and violent people to have it sacrificed to myself to replace the sacrifice you would otherwise have been because I noticed this little loophole in my perfect law. See, in all my perfection there’s got to be sacrifice made to me because I need nothing and love you.’
Makes sense to me.
toooo funny.
i actually went to film school with the ogre in the white robe and he told me a story of how he and his family were broke and hungry and god magically put a loaf of wonder bread in his fridge. i’m not even making that up
Yes, wonder bread is exactly what you need when your family is starving. So, they were suddenly not broke anymore and never again hungry after that?
It’s not like one of them would maybe have stolen the bread from the supermarket and not told the others?
I won my best friend’s soul in a game of Madden 6 years ago. I then wagered his soul 3 more times to accumulate 3 other friend’s souls.
Two of them have since realized that they never had souls to begin with…kudos to them…the other two still try to get their soul back.
they are both playing with the white pieces,wtf? And Christians don’t smoke? News to me. I am a proud sinner who sold my soul for a 6 pack.
Not only did the Angel play chess badly, he was such a poor loser he cheated. But rather than dirty his own hands, he took advantage of a deranged girl to ruin the game for him. But he wasn’t satisfied just scattering the pieces and storming away like a six year old. Despite most of the pieces lying on the floor and the position not even being legal (the black king was in check, but it was white’s move), he decided to “finish” it. He further forced the lunatic to move one of his pieces for him. Specifically, she placed the king in an impossible double-check, which the poor girl, barely able to contain herself in her manic state, incorrectly referred to as “checkmate.”
It is no wonder the director stopped filming after that. I shudder to think what may have followed.
“There is a battle raging over your soul. Well… not really a battle so much as a violent… hrm, well, actually, a very civil chess match.”
And, just like Christians, God refuses to play by the rules. He waits until you have him cornered, then kicks the board over and declares victory.
Chess? Chess?!?!?!? The angel and demon are playing chess for my soul????? Where are the gleaming swords, the clash of arms in dramatic battles with hideous demonic creatures???
Frank Peretti ~so~ lied….
I wrote and directed this piece and I have received nothing but positive feedback from my church group and family. The people who speak of weak production values know nothing about the art of filmmaking and are obviouisly jealous of my directing prowess. Why make negative comments? Because you are weak.
No, I’m not weak. Weak is not being able to get away from the cult that has brainwashed you. Check the history – all of it – of the cult to which you belong. You won’t of course, if you’re at the point where you’re eager to make a fool of yourself in public by producing films depicting ridiculous fairytales as fact, then you’re probably not really interested in questioning these beliefs. I know nothing of film-making and make no comment on this, only the content which has proved to be daft fairytales devised to control the weak minded (oh and while the churches make this crap up, destroy the lives of millions, start wars with people who believe equally stupid but slightly different crap, and make lots of money from it, they want tax breaks and charitable status). If there is indeed a hell, I can assure you it won’t be atheists going there.
Yep, I pretty much think the same. The people who doesn’t acknowledge my genius and my natural superiority, and of course my handsome looks, are either silly, blind, or obviously jealous
Toch
your church and family are lying to you pal.
why the hell would anyone be jealous of your directing prowess? you put a couple non-good actors in bedsheets and you call that directing?
we make negative comments because we “know nothing about the art of (shitty) filmmaking “
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