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55 Comments
Right on Mary’s face.
If Hell exists, I’m going to it for that one. Ho boy.
We shall meet there, then :D
I call shotgun!
Wait, who’s driving?
Driving? No, there will be no driving. We will all be on a warp sled going at maximum warp.
Okay, I still call shotgun.
haha…clever.
Good gibberish!
Man, and they always tell you not to eat the yellow snow….I’m not sure about any of it now.
As snow fell silently, God came and impregnated his own Mom. And he did it with the help of the Holy Spirit. Which I guess equates to a supernatural orgy. The holy incestual Trinity.
Unless holy spirit is bibletalk for rufie (In all the paintings mary look seriously stoned).
Huh. She does, yeah. OTOH, I’ve seen the same look on the faces of people who’ve been traumatized by rape and/or abuse.
Even disregarding the snarky meaning, the sign makes no sense. So it was snowing in Judea? And the shepherds had the sheep out in that? WTF?
and the three kings had to travel in a blizzard?? that’s messed up.
Uphill.
Both ways.
Barefoot.
No GPS
And they had nothing to eat but cold myrrh.
Please sir, may I have some myrrh?
If the wise men were from the east, and the star was in the east, wouldn’t following take them further away?
query: When God makes it snow, does it make the baby jesus cry?
God doesn’t look anything like the way I imagined him.
Jesus got nailed to the cross, Mary got nailed by the LORD.
oh boy, I am going to burn for that one!
How come it still snows but there’s no more virgin births? Is god shooting blanks?
You are the virgin here (spiritually speaking) and thus have not “birthed” the Christ in you (Galatians 4.19).
In order for a birth to occur, there must first be a pro-creation, an implanted, holy Seed (Christ ,the Seed of the woman, Gen 3.15), a “coming together”. But you are unwilling and so miss out on the “joy of (s)expression” found in the Oneness, the two becoming One.
You know not that (Holy) Thing (Christ, as the angel tells Mary who is a type of the soul of mankind, the creative womb that would be birthed in you through His Seed) that divine Offspring which would be re- (again as it was in the beginning, before the fall of man) born in you.
So without a Seed, every month (cyclically) each lunar cycle (the moon speaks of, is a type of mankind as the sun speaks of, points to Christ and is unchanging) you shed the lining of your creative, yet barren womb (soul) of eternal Potentiality, empty of its Seed, that Holy Thing which is to be “called a son of God” in you. (Luke 1.35)
Where is the Fruit, My Holy Offspring (His nature which is love, mercy manifest, growing “up” in us) He says? Now see (hear) the true lesson of the Fig Tree.
No implanting = no gestation period =no Christ in you, no Christ(mas) tree (of His Life) lit up in you and on display for all the world to “see”?
Oh, you say you’ve never heard the Christmas story told like that before? Good tidings.
Wow, I have never heard anything more ridiculous in my life.
Honestly, I thought it was a joke. In my defense it was pretty hilarious. And then I saw who posted it.
So I guess sorry JC?
(I still think its funny tho.)
No worries, no offense taken friend.
Don’t worry Zach, John confuses “holy” with “batshit crazy” (actually that’s probably a fair crossover).
Why would God keeping His Promise (Gen 3.15) be so “ridiculous”?
Gen 3:15 “And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.”
God promises to institute enmity between humanity and serpents. What does that have to do with anything?
Not a goddamn thing, which is par for the course with John.
I hate snakes!
TRJ…Christ is the “Seed” of the woman (Mary) that “bruises” the head of the Serpant (Satan). The two seeds are two contrasting natures always at odds, one of Christ (God like) Seed and the other of the Serpants Seed who infused his (dark, foreign) nature in mankind who was originally made in the very image and likeness of God who is love. He essentially stole Gods son and God is steadily reclaiming his creation man re-made in his image.
God promises a solution seed, ie the re-introduction of His nature in mankind via the “second adam”, Christ. When Adam & Eve dined with the devil the result was that “there eyes were immediately opened” but to the lie of lack, fear, nakedness (shame), etc. Now Christ comes as the “bread of heaven” and says that we are now to “eat his flesh, drink his blood”. When, on the road to emmaus story he is invited to eat with two of his disciples though they had not yet recognized Him, one is cleopus and the other I believe to be his wife mary (another mary) and then Christ “feeds” the bread and immediately upon eating what He offers them it reads that “their eyes were opened” but this time to the truth, and they “recognized” Him. When we recognize Him we also see into our true selves, who we were created to be, who we were created to be like (ie God, love). So we see a complete reversal of the curse, of adam having been infected with the wrong nature. This is part of what Paul refers to as “the mystery of godliness”. Mankind is captive to a foreign nature.
Man’s history is replete with war, hatred, etc. It all stems from something within mankind himself. The sad irony is that the bread from heaven, the solution Seed (Christ) has already come complete with a salutation of “good will toward (all) mankind” but most refuse to dine with Him.
All the best.
John, it might be best to quit while you’re behind.
Best wishes for the new year :-)
The “Serpent Seed” and “Christian Identity” cults were rebutted long ago: http://google.com/groups?q=Autymn+-autumn+adamsbible.
Ghen 3:15 has nothing to do with the New Testament. It was a tale of how kids play with snakes in fields and get deathly bitten, and how instead they should stomp on them. By the way, it’s wrong: Snakes do /not/ eat dust.
See Cretinsanity fail: http://twitter.com/alysdexia/favorites
Oh, just go back in the archives and read pretty much anything JC writes. It’s woo-filled nonsense, but at least it’s consistent and grammatically well-constructed.
What’s sad to me is that we seem to have had just as much effect on him as he’s had on us. Namely, none.
I wouldn’t take that personally, Daniel. John doesn’t really read anything here – in fairness, I very rarely read what he writes past the first sentence anymore. It’s a quick bullshit check and skip-over the rest – I find it saves my own sanity.
Daniel, did you expect anything that we would have said to JC to stick? Like Custador said, don’t take it personally. JC is inured to his…particular view of Christianity, logic be damned. He’s like a broken record and I predict that he will not relent in his woo-addled nonsensical ramblings. He’s less annoying than the drive-by godbots in that he’s consistent in his ramblings and at least does some of us the courtesy of responses–even if they don’t make one gram of sense.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
And that is the spiritual explanation for parkas and mittens and boots, and shovels and plows.
They are the spiritual equivalent of condoms and the pope should declare that wearing a coat during a snowstorm can give you AIDS.
Is that what they teach you in abstinence-only $ex ed?
*shudders*
Thankfully, I wouldn’t know, as I was lucky enough to get fairly comprehensive sex-ed. But I suspect that, yeah, they teach idiotic stuff like that in abstinence-only sex “education” classes, and wouldn’t be surprised to hear that they still tell you that teh stork brings babies. SRSLY, what the hell, folks?
On that note, if sex is supposed to be a “sin”, or a “bad thing”, why does it feel so damn good?
I think abstinence-only sex-ed is more like this:
“You see, kids, sex can be a wonderful thing, EXCEPT if you do it before you get married. Then it’s not wonderful AT ALL! You’ll probably get all kinds of venereal diseases and unintended pregnancies. Sure, I could tell you how to protect yourselves from having this happen, but I’m not going to.
That concludes the curriculum.”
I’m so glad I live in a liberal state, where accurate education is considered a good thing.
I didn’t like being pregnant anyway.
John C, are you incapable of writing any sort of normally structured paragraphs? Why do you have to include random insignificant words in parenthesis in practically EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE!!??!
You’re not doing a very good job of making Jesus’ message (of which you alone are privy to, of course) any clearer to ANYONE.
Well, to be fair, the Jesus of the gospels wasn’t too keen on logic or clarity, either.
god just gave the east coast a big money-shot!
I guess I’m moving to Florida. I can never enjoy winter again (shudder)
“As snow fell silently…”
Is god’s parents in the next room? Or snow should make the sound “Oh MEEEE!” when it falls.
*sporfle*