How does a man recover from publicly first condemning homosexuality in front of thousands and then being caught in a meth-crazed sexual affair with another man? I don’t know either, but if you have ideas I’m sure Ted Haggard would love to hear them.

Poor guy. He’s back at home “healing rapidly” and wants to start prayer sessions again.

“A couple of weeks ago we decided we’d like to have a prayer meeting at our house,” said Haggard. “Now we’ll see how many come. We thought about going to one, but because of my deal we knew that some people would be awkward there. So we thought, if we have one at our house then everyone who comes is comfortable with what’s gone on in my life.”

Haggard said he has no expectations. It could draw five people, it could draw 200, he said.

I got a chuckle from this:

Haggard said his struggles parallel those in the Bible.

“Most of the primary characters of the Bible had horrible, horrible incidents in their lives. David misused his power to murder people. He was an adulterer. And he was still a man after God’s own heart,” Haggard said.

Well, of course David was “still a man after God’s own heart” – God can relate to those urges!  Did Haggard miss the stories about God’s senseless slaughter and that one time he impregnated a married women?

On a more serious note, I can recognize that this is a man struggling with beliefs and feelings that are difficult to reconcile, and I hope he can find peace one way or another.  Yes, the suffering is due in large part to his own mistakes, but I don’t like to imagine what he must be going through.

If he’s looking to preach again, he could always apply for a job on the supposedly reformed-gay “Love Won Out” tour.  As far as I can see, the conference’s purpose is to help people cope with unwanted homosexuality both in themselves and in loved ones.  Alas, they do this by insisting that it can and should be overcome.

There are some redeeming qualities of the tour – it’s nice that they teach parents not to disown gay children and it’s nice that they try to present everything with love instead of hatred…  Congratulations; you’re at least attempting to mitigate the damage your deranged views on sex have done to people’s self-esteem, their families, and their relationships. Bra-vo.  My friend Carrie Poppy sums it up nicely in her Examiner.com article, saying:

“Forgive me if I don’t stand up and cheer. Your bronze-age religion instills deep guilt, fear and self-loathing in otherwise healthy individuals, and then helps them deal with those emotions by encouraging their denial of self-identity? Onward, Christian soldiers!”

No Joke

Skewering Pat Robertson, The Most Dangerous Man in America, in 700 words or less is no easy task. Where does one begin? Books, like the above by Robert Boston, have already been written, and there may not be enough trees to cover all the facts.

On top of that, Pat hides his sins easily in broad daylight, bumbling his way through fundie TV so we assume no one takes him seriously. Hasn’t everyone been rolling their eyes at the mere mention of the 700 Club for decades now?

I’ve been recently called out for my mean-spirited attacks on these poor, innocent, easy targets who are so woefully misled and far out that they threaten no one. Who listens to some jerk blaming immigrants and other heathens and homos for hurricanes, who calls them “termites” and calls for a “Godly fumigation”? Clearly, anyone who famously states that women seeking equality are actually socialists looking to “leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians” is a joke and nothing more. Pat’s prophecies have come and gone with the wind, and his conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and Masons were nowhere near as riveting as Dan Brown’s.

Blood Diamonds

But it’s no joke. Marion “Pat” Robertson is an extremely influential man in matters that extend beyond spirituality and blundering racist faux pas. He has a political agenda, twisted morals, huge media power, insatiable thirst for money at all costs, tremendous business acumen, and influential henchman saturating every aspect of American life, from dieting to banking to war. And then there’s the little matter of blood diamonds.

I encourage all of you to look up Pat’s proclamations on the evil Hindus, Satanic atheists, homosexual Scots, the “rightful” dominion of Christians (but only some kinds of Christians), the evils of yoga,  the voice of God as special immunity for people blowing up abortion clinics, his calls for various assassinations of leaders he doesn’t like, and how his own half-million dollar racehorse had nothing to do with gambling, which he speaks against. And how “Women should listen and learn quietly and submissively.” Or how the special energy shake God used to nourish him made him capable of 2,000-lb leg presses, nearly 1.5 times the power of the world record champion.

The Elephant in the Room

But these sheer idiocies with which we cull hilarious lists really detract from the sinister reality behind the scenes. The media mogul formed the first Christian Broadcast Network and today pumps his belligerent 700 Club mumblings to a million people a day. Other programming goes around the world in some 50 languages. Founder of the Christian Coalition for America, The American Center for Law and Justice, and big wig at the Moral Majority and umpteen other rhetoric-spewing think tanks, Pat’s putting your grandma’s money toward making sure justice exists only for his approved brand of Christians and no one else. (And for his private jets.) Pat’s ties to, funding for, support of, and influence on political players is huge. He has been involved in politics himself, and is extremely influential in pushing his creationist, dominionist, racist, anti-women, anti-progress agenda from behind the scenes.

What a Relief

Pat has close business ties to shady political figures linked to genocidal warfare. Indeed, he’s a good friend of Zaire’s (now Congo) Mobutu Sésé Seko. Mobutu was the totalitarian dictator of Zaire from ’65 to ’97, a man especially fond of public executions for anyone whom he didn’t like.  Pat sunk some 8 million into blood diamond mining, given permission to mine by his friend Charles Taylor, Liberian warlord. (Pat has said that the investment was for “evangelism.” Riiiiight.) Taylor has recently been arrested after living in hiding, and faces 11 charges for war crimes, including arming, funding, and instructing rebels to pillage, rape, steal, and hack off people’s arms and legs over diamonds. Even Bush was against Taylor, and Pat lambasted him for not supporting Taylor, a “Baptist, Christian president.”

Considering that Pat’s “Operation Blessing” supposedly helps genocide and war victims in Rwanda, Congo and west Africa, isn’t it a little bit, um, wrong, to invest money in a major cause of said holocausts? Pat came under fire when it was observed that his planes, supposedly carrying refugees toward relief, were actually transporting his mining gear and profits! It was ruled that Pat had indeed diverted donations, but he saved his arse because the planes had a few relief supplies on them.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer my atheist and homo friends over greedy torture-mongers and genocidal maniacs, or preachers who cover their bloody tracks.

Lorette C. Luzajic writes about all kinds of interesting people at Fascinating People.

Frank Bailey, 44, also repeatedly acknowledged what he had done was wrong and said how sorry he was.

“Every day I just think about what I did and I feel sick,” he said in Sydney’s Downing Centre District Court.

He has admitted five counts of sexual intercourse with a 16-year-old under his care in 2007.

While being cross-examined by Crown Prosecutor Kara Shead, Bailey’s arms shook, his eyes were teary and he broke down a number of times.

He agreed he had trained other teachers about appropriate relationships with students and was fully aware of acceptable boundaries.

Bailey said that at the time of the offences he thought he was in love with the victim and that she loved him.

Hypocrite.

You may say to yourself, “How can we recognize a word that the Lord has not spoken?” ²²If a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord but the thing does not take place or prove true, it is a word that the Lord has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; do not be frightened by it. (Deut 18:20-21)

And what should be done with those false prophets? The answer happens to be in the verse right before the verse I just quoted:

Any prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, or who presumes to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded the prophet to speak—that prophet shall die. (Deut 18:20; see also Deut 13:1-5 where false prophets are commanded to be executed)

So it’s only appropriate that Benny Hinn is a false prophet, even according to his own holy book, and should be killed:

In 1990, Pastor Benny Hinn prophesized on TBN: “The Lord also tells me to tell you in the mid ‘90s, about ’94 to ’95, no later than that, God will destroy the homosexual community of America. [The audience applauded.] But He will not destroy it with what many minds have thought [He would use], He will destroy it with fire. And many will turn and be saved, and many will rebel and be destroyed.” (William Lobdell, Losing My Religion, p. 192)

In November 1997, [Fr. John Conley] came home early one evening to his parish, only to find his pastor wrestling in the dark with a young boy. Conley, a federal prosecutor before becoming a priest, believed he had witnessed an act of sexual abuse. According to depositions and other legal documents, he reported the incident to San Francisco archdiocesan officials and told them he was going to file a report with civil authorities, as required by law. Conley said one official asked him, “Now, are you sure you want to do this?”

The archdiocese backed the priest suspected by Conley of molesting the boy, and Conley was soon removed from active ministry (church officials said his demotion was unrelated to his whistle-blowing). Eventually, the accused priest admitted that he had sexually abused several boys, and Conley filed a whistle-blower lawsuit against the Archdiocese of San Francisco, winning a large settlement in 2002. William Levada, now a top official at the Vatican, was then the archbishop of San Francisco.

In his deposition, an angry Conley said he asked the vicar of clergy to relay a message to the archbishop: “The message was to tell the archbishop to grow some balls and start acting like a man.”

—William Lobdell, Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America—and Found Unexpected Peace (2009), p. 164-5

In a packed sanctuary that held hundreds, Father Mike, as he was known, stood before the congregation he had led for a dozen years. Reading from a statement, he told them that 19 years ago he had “transgressed the personal boundaries of an adolescent.” (Only later would it emerge that the diocese knew he, in fact, had been accused of sexual misconduct with several other children.)

With the diocese’s zero-tolerance policy now in place, he said he was being forced to step down. The tone of his statement made him sound like a martyr—someone who had been kicked out of ministry for a single mistake, a simple boundary violation—nearly two decades ago. As he read his short statement, the parishioners sat in stunned silence. Some women fished in their purses for tissues to wipe away their tears. As Father Mike walked out of the church, the congregation rose and gave him a standing ovation….

When the applause started, my first reaction was disbelief. A standing ovation? Though the language softened the act, I had just heard this priest admit that he had molested a minor. Diocesan officials had kept the information secret from the parishioners of San Francisco Solano, who until now would never have thought twice about leaving their children in the pastor’s charge.

As a parent, my response was outrage and disgust. Imagine that a beloved schoolteacher who had taught your children had admitted to once sexually molesting a child but the school district never called the police, kicked him out or bothered to tell the parents. Would you rally around the teacher? Or would you be angry that a predator was left in a position of great trust with easy access to children—without your knowledge? I’d guess that the school superintendent would be forced to resign under pressure from parents—and face criminal charges for aiding and abetting a criminal.

—William Lobdell, Losing My Religion: How I Lost My Faith Reporting on Religion in America-and Found Unexpected Peace (2009), p. 152-3

Only in a church would a child molesting priest get a standing ovation.

A conservative California politician “who is the vice-chairman of the legislature’s commerce committee and a member of its ethics committee, is married with two children and is known as a staunch defender of conservative family values” got into trouble when he went on about his sexual exploits in front of a microphone he didn’t realize was on:

[You might want to] make sure your microphone is OFF before bragging about and giving disgustingly lewd details of your affair with a much younger woman who is also a lobbyist whose clients have business before your committee, and also laughing about the fact that you are simultaneously cheating on your wife and your mistress with yet another woman….

While waiting for a televised committee hearing to begin, Duvall began bragging to a colleague about his sexual conquests, apparently not knowing that the microphones go live about one minute before the start time. Not content with mentioning the fact he was having an affair, which would have caused problems enough, Duvall — who I am now officially christening “Open Mike” — launched into explicit details, many of which are too nasty to reprint here, and all of which were captured by his microphone. (Among them: tiny underwear, spankings, and the 19-year-age difference.

In addition to the adultery problem, Open Mike’s admissions might also raise an ethical issue because the lobbyist represents a client that (like many businesses) has interests in legislation before the Utilities and Commerce Committee, and has donated to Duvall’s campaign.

The fact that Duvall is actually a member of the ethics committee might also raise an ethical issue. Or maybe it’s just awkward.

He had a 100% approval rating. How quickly things change. He resigned, saying:

I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words.

(via)

And now we come to Kristin Maguire, who recently stepped down as Chairwoman of South Carolina’s Board of Education — appointed by Mark Sanford himself — due to “family matters.”

It ends up this homeschooler mom is also an alleged erotic fiction writer:

She long touted teaching abstinence and intelligent design in schools, a stance that made her popular with the right-wing set. Those same family values groups, one of the GOP’s most loyal constituents, also have a long history of using children to induce panic when it comes to the gays, because homos can’t control their rampant sexuality and then seduce and transform the nation’s children. It would be hard for those groups to ignore Maguire’s alleged prose, like a tale entitled “Continental Cuisine,” which features a woman blowing a man while his pal wanks one off. (Sample line: “The rhythmic sway of the train car added to the bobbing of my head as I sucked deeply.”)

Another tale goes by the name, “Lauren’s Masturbatory Musings.” You can only imagine what that one concerns. Both are available at FITSNews’ site and are quite tawdry, trashy and downright raunchy, which means they’re great.

That really shouldn’t be a big deal — except for the hypocrisy. Maguire is all about family values, yet she’s writing erotic material about things she publicly would rail against. They puff themselves up and think they are morally superior to others, when they are just like everyone else (and, as we often see, worse).

I love it when this kind of hypocrisy is exposed. Now I just wish people would learn something from it.

James Patrick Grady, 57, Pastor of St. Raphael The Archangel, showed up at a St. Louis County home Wednesday, offering to pay money to have sex with a 16-year-old girl, documents allege.

Grady had been exchanging e-mails with an undercover police officer or FBI agent Wednesday, inquiring about an online ad offering young females, according to an affidavit filed in court by FBI Special Agent Cynthia Dockery.

Grady asked for details and was provided a digitally-altered picture of a 16-year-old girl and a price of $80 for 30 minutes and $160 for a full hour, Dockery wrote. Grady asked for a massage from the girl, and was refused. He then asked for kissing and oral sex, Dockery wrote.

Grady then allegedly called the undercover officer and got directions to a secret location somewhere in the St. Louis area. He showed up with the money but became suspicious and had turned away to leave when he was arrested, Dockery wrote.

Grady admitted sending the emails and said he came to the house because he was “curious,” Dockery wrote. He also admitted that he was a priest.

Yeah, as a priest sworn to celibacy, I’m sure he was very “curious.”

His church has suspended him pending the outcome of the court case, and is paying his legal bills. They will also post bond if the court allows it. What nice guys!

His five victims sat looking forward in the gallery. One, a woman he “married” at age 8, wiped away a tear.

The jury of nine men and three women found Alamo guilty of taking girls as young as 9 across state lines for sex, in violation of a nearly century-old federal law. Alamo was accused in a 10-count indictment that said the abuse started in 1994….

Women ranging from age 17 to 33 told jurors that Alamo “married” them in private ceremonies while they were minors, sometimes giving them wedding rings. Each detailed trips beyond Arkansas’ borders for Alamo’s sexual gratification.

Alamo’s perspective? That he’s just being persecuted for Jesus, of course:

“I’m just another one of the prophets that went to jail for the Gospel,” Alamo called to reporters afterward as he was escorted to a waiting U.S. marshal’s vehicle.

But it’s okay. All he has to do is ask forgiveness in Jesus name, and his sin will be cleansed and he’ll go to heaven forever — unlike all those evil people who lived good lives but didn’t believe in Jesus!

And now he’s admitted to having sex with his 22 year-old intern and taking nude photos of her.

How utterly shocking!

Okay, not really.

It came out when the intern’s boyfriend tried to blackmail the senator for $10,000.

He doesn’t want gay couples to adopt children because, in his bigotry, he sees them as depraved individuals who are not fit to raise children. The irony is his own religion condemns him — he committed adultery, which goes against one of his precious 10 Commandments. By his own standards, he’s not fit to raise children. It’s unlikely he would admit that, however. There’s nothing like hypocrisy to make fundies find excuses for what they normally denounce as heinous sins.

Sen. Stanley, and Christians like him, would do well to heed the words of Jesus:

“You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matt. 7:5)

Life Doesn’t End at Birth

I saw a bumper sticker that said “Life doesn’t end at birth” and that sums up everything wrong with militant anti-choice groups like Operation Rescue. Beyond simply stating their ideas or faith, they idolize the fetus, going to ridiculous, macabre extremes. Once you’re actually born, do you have any rights at all?

Militant pro-lifers spread the moniker “Babykiller Obama.” That the prez didn’t personally legalize abortion in the U.S. — and that lifting the ban on contraception provisions for third world women saves millions from AIDS, prevents new hungry mouths, and reduces the number of already-born children from being orphaned — is beyond their reasoning abilities. The other tactic that really gets my ire up is the constant reference to Planned Parenthood’s supposed eugenic agenda. PP founder Sanger had racist affiliations, yes — as did everyone in the 1920s!

It wasn’t the founding fathers or Christians who dismantled American racism: indeed, slavery and racism are their legacy. Much is made of the fact that more black women are single mothers, and so the abortion agenda targets blacks for ethnic cleansing. Perhaps mention should be made instead that poor black women with options can have better chances at leaving the ghetto, at education, and future family?

Message in a Bottle

Pullquote: “George Tiller was a mass-murderer. We grieve for him that he did not have time to properly prepare his soul to face God.”
Randall Terry

But why should Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, be among thinking Christians, a rare breed? There’s much more glory in the macabre theater and emotional hype. His current show has women who’ve had abortions dressed in black at the Sotomayor hearings. Carrying coffins filled with tiny dolls and blood with the sound of infants wailing completes the grisly scene.

He also punk’d then-President Bill Clinton by mailing him a fetus in a bottle. And earlier this year, after abortion-provider was murdered in his church, Terry stated, “George Tiller was a mass-murderer. We grieve for him that he did not have time to properly prepare his soul to face God.”

Terry’s family values are just as theatrical. A born again fundie, he met his first wife in Bible school. Terry was ministering to a pregnant prostitute who’d born two kids, one in prison. He convinced her to carry the child, and then at least had the decency to foster, and later adopt, Tila and her older siblings — whom he described as “three black foster children” on his “resume.”

Born Again Catholic

Pullquote: How embarrassing that this pillar of faith left his wife of 19 years for that model — a woman nearly two decades younger.

His mainline mission was to rescue the unborn. But “family values” campaigns were on the agenda, too — he decried infidelity, teamed up with his son to reveal the horrors of the gay agenda, and rallied support from churches for pregnant women.

In his book, The Judgement of God, he said, “Families are destroyed as a father vents his mid life crisis by abandoning his wife for a ‘younger, prettier model.’” How embarrassing that this pillar of faith left his wife of 19 years for that model — a woman nearly two decades younger. Terry was axed from his church for his indiscretion — it was rumored that the prettier pro-lifer wasn’t the first affair. Suddenly, he was no longer a virulent anti-papist — Terry converted to Catholicism, where he erased his divorce blight. Apparently, the first marriage wasn’t “sacramental.”

But What About the Children?

Pullquote: Terry tried to quell his embarrassment by publicly stating that a child born to a whore is bound to be confused.

What about them? Terry disowned the unmarried Tila when she decided to carry an unexpected pregnancy to term. Ebony also got pregnant as a teen — twice — and worse, converted to Islam, which Terry said is nothing but “terrorists” and “murderers.” And Jamiel? He came out as gay in Out Magazine, hoping to help self-hating fundie kids.

At first, Terry tried to quell his embarrassment by publicly stating that a child born to a whore is bound to be confused. He said Jamiel begged his help for “a cure” and that he’s eager to pay for it. Then he said that Out, a queer news and profile mag, made up the story, and preyed on a cash-desperate Jamiel by “paying” him, as they needed a “trophy” snare.

Umm, magazines pay their writers, Dad! In any event, Dad defended himself against Jamiel’s statement that he wasn’t welcome in the family home by saying “he could come for a holiday, make mental notes” and that he has to protect his new trophy wife and two small sons. Even though Jamiel’s not really gay, of course.

So it’s clear how this man really treats young black women who get knocked up, even when they’re his own daughters. And question: would you still rescue the gay fetuses, Mr. Terry?

And then there’s fraud. For example, a pastor and his three sons are facing charges for preying on church members:

Former pastor Vaughn Reeves and his sons, Chip, Chris and Josh face 10 separate felony counts.

The Reeves operated Alanar, Inc. an investment company in Sullivan, Ind. The four allegedly ran a multi-million dollar, faith-based affinity fraud for at least five years that duped thousands of investors into buying bonds that raised at least $120 million.

The Reeves allegedly stole $6 million for themselves in the process.

When I was a Christian, I wanted to only do business with other Christians, because I knew they were “trustworthy.” Looking back, it’s hard to believe I thought that, even after seeing that Christians could be just as untrustworthy as non-Christians. Oh that’s right, I just labeled them as “non-Christians” when I found out they weren’t trustworthy. Sigh.

Unfortunately, I think many evangelical Christians end up being targets for manipulation. Many are very suggestible — that is, after all, how they got into their religion (if they were converts).

The problem is compounded by the teaching that they should be giving at least 10% of their income to their church and other Christian organizations. Some teach the more you give, the more you receive and will be blessed by God.

The solution, of course, is basic critical thinking. But you won’t find a class on that at most churches — if they teach that, they’ll lose members, because some will figure out how to apply it to their own faith.

So I guess they’ll just keep them as helpless sheep, blindly following their “God-appointed” shepherd.

Dr. Tiller, who had performed abortions since the 1970s, had long been a lightning rod for controversy over the issue of abortion, particularly in Kansas, where abortion opponents regularly protested outside his clinic and sometimes his home and church. In 1993, he was shot in both arms by an abortion opponent but recovered.

He had also been the subject of many efforts at prosecution, including a citizen-initiated grand jury investigation. In the latest such effort, in March, Dr. Tiller was acquitted of charges that he had performed late-term abortions that violated state law.

The shooting occurred at around 10 a.m. (Central time) at Reformation Lutheran Church on the city’s East Side, Dr. Tiller’s regular church.

Wichita police said that the shots were fired from a handgun in the church lobby during the morning service.

The shooter is still at large.

Anyone want to bet against the killer being a Jesus worshipper?

* * *

Here’s what Randall Terry of Operation Rescue had to say about Tiller’s death:

George Tiller was a mass-murderer. We grieve for him that he did not have time to properly prepare his soul to face God. I am more concerned that the Obama Administration will use Tiller’s killing to intimidate pro-lifers into surrendering our most effective rhetoric and actions. Abortion is still murder. And we still must call abortion by its proper name; murder.

Those men and women who slaughter the unborn are murderers according to the Law of God. We must continue to expose them in our communities and peacefully protest them at their offices and homes, and yes, even their churches. (source)

Notice he doesn’t say that Tiller shouldn’t have been murdered. What a despicable person.

* * *

Update: If the assassin had been a Muslim and the victim a politician or a pastor, wouldn’t we be calling this religious terrorism — the very thing the US is supposedly warring against?